Having Confidence in the Therapist

Written by Darlene Ouimet

Some clients come right out and ask the therapist if he or she has ever had therapy themselves. These clients are considering the difference between personal experience and expertise. In this article I am referring to the questions in the mind of a new client, “Do I hope this therapist can help me as a result of success he has had with other clients or is there another reason that gives me hope?” Their question is, “How do I know that you can help me?”

I have a twitter account. I run searches through the tweetdeck application on the word psychotherapist and other related therapist and psychologist search terms. Whenever anyone writes a “tweet” (a post containing 140 characters or less) using one of these words such as psychotherapist, I get notified and I can read the tweet. It is amazing how often I read tweets containing examples of why a client is having doubts about the ability of their therapist. Sometimes they tweet about why they are leaving their psychotherapist. Taking into consideration the fact that a lot of clients have so many issues that much of this information has to be taken lightly, I would just like to address the percentage of the clients that have a reason to doubt.

I’ve always questioned what it would be like to go to a Catholic priest to ask for marriage advice; how would he understand that issue? How can I ask an extremely overweight person for help with an eating disorder? Although it is certainly possible for an overweight therapist to understand and relate to an eating disorder, do they really know how to help stop one? I wonder about things like that. There is a certain amount of communication that relies upon intuition as well even if there are no visual clues regarding the lifestyle of the therapist.

It is not necessary that a therapist understands from personal experience, I am just mentioning that these questions go through the minds of your clients. Some clients want to know if you have ever been in a depression so bad that you were not able to recover from it on your own. Do you know what it is like to feel like giving up? Do you know what it is like to sleep all day or to cry for no apparent reason or eat until you feel sick and then do it again the next day?” These questions are often just below the surface in a client’s mind. Do you understand me from personal experience, or only from working with others?

I am not suggesting that you tell your clients a whole lot of personal facts about how you yourself have dealt with certain emotional issues; rather, I am referring to the fact that there is value and reassurance when the client senses that you have also done, or are willing to do your work as they are seeking your professional assistance to help them to do their work.

To Your Success,
Darlene Ouimet

Follow me on twitter at www.twitter.com/darleneouimet


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